A FROLIC IN THE WOODS!

Yesterday the Sarge,her family and i went on a 2 km hike through the Ganaraska Forest in a warm up for the big 100 km trek next year. I like to start off by saying that both the Sarge and her husband Dave had convinced me that they knew the trails before leaving the safety of the parking lot...yeah right. So, off we go, all in great spirits ready for this little hike in the woods and the weather couldn't have been nicer. So the leader of this band of adventurer's was little Henry, 4 years old and full of energy. It was his job to keep on looking for the "orange" arrows as that was the trail we were going on...remember the 2 km one. Henry was doing a terrific job and we didn't get lost once. The further we went along the Orange trail the more narrower the path and the more plentiful the Poison Ivy! Heck these weren't normal Poison Ivy, these were PI on steroids! The damn things were more like trees then plants and they were everywhere! Hubby Dave, being the wise one, wanted to turn back, but the Sarge wanted to push on as she thought the path was clearing up ahead. I myself was still in my happy space just following along. We kept following the Orange Trail and the damn thing never widened...smooth move Sarge! So, now we have to back track through all the PI again (I'm starting to itch just thinking about it). Of course all of us were in shorts except for the Sarge...I wonder if she planned it this way? Anyways, we finally make it make back to the main trail and continue with out journey now on the Blue Trail. It definitely was much wider and more hiking friendly. I don't know how this happened, but somewhere along the way we went on the Green Trail...meaning my experienced guides had know idea where we were. So now we are into km number 3 in our 2 km walk. I'm starting to feel a little uncomfortable about this...the group is starting to lose it's team spirit, but we press on. As we approach the 4th km of our 2 km hike I see vultures flying overhead. We start looking for little puddles of water to quench our thirst. The Sarge says she can make tea out of cedar bark...yeah right, i thought she could lead us on a 2 km walk as well! I started to think that this was turning into a bad movie...it's never the perfect family that gets killed in the movies, it's the short fat guy that is always expendable! Hubby Dave has now asked me to take up the back position...that's where they always get killed! I was waiting for a 200 pound wild turkey to attack me...I forgot, Dave Hughes wasn't with us. I digress, as we continued on our journey I started to realize how the Israelites must have felt being led by Moses and traversing for forty years through the wilderness to find the Promised Land...our Promised Land was the parking lot.

As we approached the 4.5 km mark...did I happen to mentions this was supposed to be a 2 km hike? Anyways, like I said we are now at 4.5 km and i noticed a wolf pack in the woods...they were trying to figure out who was the most vulnerable to cut out from our herd. I figure this is wear the fat guy gets it! But the survival instinct kicked in...you know what, I think i could out run little Emmy who is all of 18 months! It was a matter of survival people! Some how I need to get her off of Hubby Dave's back. At the 5 km mark I was thinking that we actually might find Dr. Livingston! I was also wondering where all our porters were to carry our supplies?! This is no longer a hike, it's a bloody expedition! As I was starting to put a survival plan in place, all of a sudden we found the road! Safety! Mind you, we now had to follow the road back to our original starting point, that being the parking lot. So after travelling 5 km in our 2 km hike, we made it back to our vehicles. I was never so happy to see my crappy Cavalier in my life!

It was so much fun, especially playing the little games while on the trail. The one game that was very popular was telling me to look at something in the woods and then turning around and everyone was gone! They did that several times...oh the laughter. Also Hubby Dave asking me to pick up the beautiful three leaf plant (PI) along the path...he couldn't do it himself as he had Emmy on his back...oh the laughter, almost bust a gut on that one.

It was quite the adventure...and this is supposed to be a warm up for the 100 km hike! If this is an example of what I'm in store for next year, it's going to turn into a 200 km hike and that's if we make it out of the woods! Heck, will be lost so long we'll start our own civilization....the Lost Tribe of Bodilogix!

I know one thing for sure, before next years adventure I'm going to get "Mantracker" put on speed dial...not that I don't have any confidence in the Sarge...I'm also going to pack for 6 days instead of the 48 hours...not that i don't have any confidence in the Sarge...I'm going to buy a GPS...not that I don't have any confidence in the Sarge!

Remember..."God is great, beer is good and people are crazy"!!

Big Dave signing off!