UP, UP AND AWAY...TOO BODILOGIX!:
I had the opportunity to read the Sarge's blog today...just another inept attempt at humour, but she tries hard. You know, I could eat Alphabits and crap out a better blog! While I'm on the subject of the Sarge, she had some interesting things to say about her own training. She used to do her workouts in boots (Helga, she-wolf of the SS again) and she believes her power comes from her boobs! You know...Samson had the hair thing and the Sarge has the boob thing...why not. The Sarge is starting to look more and more like a super hero but what would be her name and what cause would she fight for? I'll wait to see if anybody submits any ideas in the comment section before I give my humble opinion. Also, with every super hero they normally have a side kick. I think the perfect choice would be Tracey L (Breakfast Club wannabe). Tracey was present this morning at Bodilogix, that's really all I can say. I mean when your shower lasts longer than your workout then there is something definitely wrong. What makes it worse is the Sarge let's her get away with it! Oh well, super heroes and their sidekicks, enough said.
On the weekend Rosie and I had the privilege of celebrating Henry's fourth birthday! If you didn't know already, Henry is Andrea and Dave's son. He looked like he was having a lot of fun! I also had the pleasure of meeting the parents and siblings of Andrea and Dave...what a great family! The cook of the day was Andrea's sister, Angela. She did up some chicken on the BBQ and it tasted great...until two hours later! Just kidding...I survived...barely.
Did you know if you weighed 100 pounds on Earth, you would only weigh 38 pounds on Mercury! That means by Mercury standards I only weigh 114 pounds! Can't wait until the shuttle missions start going there.
Remember...Stay thirsty my friends...drink lots of water!
Big Dave
Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
WILL THAT BE ONE GLUMP OR TWO?:
Another step closer to my goal, a pound at a time! This week I lost one pound bringing the total now to 38 pounds lost. Both the Sarge and I had expected a little better then that but what can you do. The Sarge scrutinized my food diary and of course picked it apart. I can no longer have three corn on the cob, only one...oh the injustice! I can no longer have three scrambled eggs, only two but I can add some egg whites...yek! I asked the Sarge how much egg whites can I have? She suggested getting "Egg Creations" and then putting in "glump, glump"! I of course asked the obvious question,how much is "glump, glump"? She stated glump, glump was exactly glump glump. I said what happens if it's glunk, glunk? Is that too much or too little as compared to glump glump? She said it is what it is. I asked her to put it into more specific terms of measurement. The Sarge said glump is one glump and glump, glump was two glumps! I knew I shouldn't have asked.
Did you know the human hair can hold 6.5 pounds of weight!? That means I could technically hang by 46 hairs...good to know should one be stranded on a cliff.
I was on the leg press again the other day and this time I was doing 350 pounds. I was quiet proud of myself and asked the Sarge to put on 400 the next time. The Sarge looked at me and said that the more I shrink the harder this exercise will get. I asked how that was possible? She said that because of my "girth" that I don't get the full extension. Ohhhhh...that really means I'm using my belly as a springboard! Well...when its a matter of survival you got to use what you can. During this particular exercise she had me do 50 reps while slowly taking some of the weight off...my butt is still sore!
One of the ladies( Tracey L) at the gym has made some overtures to wanting to join the Bodilogix Breakfast Club. I had to explain to Tracey that it isn't just a matter of showing up in the morning and having a workout...you have to present yourself with the appropriate attitude. You must be able to insult and harass your fellow members without flinching. You have to be brutally non-supportive...its a form of team building really. You must be able to give the insult and be able to receive an insult...it's the old give and take, the ying and yang. It comes down to embracing a lifestyle that not many are able to do; Don Rickles is our version of the Dali Lama. So Tracey L, if you can ying as good as your yang...we''ll consider you.
Here's an example of what I mean...Dave H (the old, old guy) stumbled over to the smoothie bar and said to me..."nice haircut...is it called the Fred Flinstone". I took it in stride (ying)...at least I don't have a mini-mullet (yang). You see how it works.
Yesterday the Sarge introduced me to a new exercise, which I have stated before that usually means pain! Not this time...just a little embarrassing. It's called the "sunshine"...that was my first clue. She brought out this large yellow ball (the sun) and I was to go side to side with it over my head...you know the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. I can't make this up people! So I'm now standing in front of the mirror with the "sun" over my head saying the sun rises and the sun sets...back and forth. The humiliation! I was waiting for her to pull out a mirror frame with no mirror and say " I can see Davey and I can see Johnny" . I'm no longer at Bodilogix, I'm in a time warp of Romper Room. Needless to say we only did one set of those.
Remember..."Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending" Maria Robinson.
Big Dave
Another step closer to my goal, a pound at a time! This week I lost one pound bringing the total now to 38 pounds lost. Both the Sarge and I had expected a little better then that but what can you do. The Sarge scrutinized my food diary and of course picked it apart. I can no longer have three corn on the cob, only one...oh the injustice! I can no longer have three scrambled eggs, only two but I can add some egg whites...yek! I asked the Sarge how much egg whites can I have? She suggested getting "Egg Creations" and then putting in "glump, glump"! I of course asked the obvious question,how much is "glump, glump"? She stated glump, glump was exactly glump glump. I said what happens if it's glunk, glunk? Is that too much or too little as compared to glump glump? She said it is what it is. I asked her to put it into more specific terms of measurement. The Sarge said glump is one glump and glump, glump was two glumps! I knew I shouldn't have asked.
Did you know the human hair can hold 6.5 pounds of weight!? That means I could technically hang by 46 hairs...good to know should one be stranded on a cliff.
I was on the leg press again the other day and this time I was doing 350 pounds. I was quiet proud of myself and asked the Sarge to put on 400 the next time. The Sarge looked at me and said that the more I shrink the harder this exercise will get. I asked how that was possible? She said that because of my "girth" that I don't get the full extension. Ohhhhh...that really means I'm using my belly as a springboard! Well...when its a matter of survival you got to use what you can. During this particular exercise she had me do 50 reps while slowly taking some of the weight off...my butt is still sore!
One of the ladies( Tracey L) at the gym has made some overtures to wanting to join the Bodilogix Breakfast Club. I had to explain to Tracey that it isn't just a matter of showing up in the morning and having a workout...you have to present yourself with the appropriate attitude. You must be able to insult and harass your fellow members without flinching. You have to be brutally non-supportive...its a form of team building really. You must be able to give the insult and be able to receive an insult...it's the old give and take, the ying and yang. It comes down to embracing a lifestyle that not many are able to do; Don Rickles is our version of the Dali Lama. So Tracey L, if you can ying as good as your yang...we''ll consider you.
Here's an example of what I mean...Dave H (the old, old guy) stumbled over to the smoothie bar and said to me..."nice haircut...is it called the Fred Flinstone". I took it in stride (ying)...at least I don't have a mini-mullet (yang). You see how it works.
Yesterday the Sarge introduced me to a new exercise, which I have stated before that usually means pain! Not this time...just a little embarrassing. It's called the "sunshine"...that was my first clue. She brought out this large yellow ball (the sun) and I was to go side to side with it over my head...you know the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. I can't make this up people! So I'm now standing in front of the mirror with the "sun" over my head saying the sun rises and the sun sets...back and forth. The humiliation! I was waiting for her to pull out a mirror frame with no mirror and say " I can see Davey and I can see Johnny" . I'm no longer at Bodilogix, I'm in a time warp of Romper Room. Needless to say we only did one set of those.
Remember..."Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending" Maria Robinson.
Big Dave
Monday, August 24, 2009
From Butterball Park to the Russian Ballet:
Well, we're half way through the week...I mean we're half way through my week. I no longer have weeks that go Sunday to Sunday. Mine go Thursday to Thursday...Julius Caesar came up with a new calender so I figure I can to! This Saturday I did my work out without the supportive presence of the Sarge...the peace and quiet was wonderful! I did the complete circuit training routine plus an hour on the treadmill. I felt so good i even came in on the Sunday (my day off) and spent some more time on the treadmill; I did 90 minutes.
Having such a good weekend of workouts, I felt pretty good coming in to the gym this morning and going into full combat engagement with the Sarge. I explained to her what I had done...very proud of myself and brimming with confidence when explaining the repertoire. The Sarge looked at me with a very non-committal look on her face (excellent poker face) then said "you didn't do any push ups". I went from star student to the remedial class! What would I ever do without the reality check (crap) that she gives me?
Today you are You, that is the truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.
Dr. Seuss.
The only explanation I have for quoting the Seuss man is that I just came from my work out from Casa De Wacko...so it all fits. Anyways, it's a cool saying.
Today the Sarge presented me with a new exercise...I had to get in touch with my inner ballerina. I told her it didn't exist but you know the Sarge, she doesn't take know for an answer. So this exercise was to hold onto a bar and then with a big ball behind me with one leg on it do the splits. While doing the splits you are supposed to keep your head up and the weight over your leg that's on the floor...I would have thought that one was pretty obvious! So, here I was in this ridiculous position trying to channel in my inner ballerina and it came to mind one thing. Why in God's name do male ballerina's have those traffic cones attached to their crotch?! Have they never heard of regular jock straps? Maybe there is some...under lying issues going on? I finally finished practising for Swan Lake and I can tell you that exercise works. Not only did I feel the burn in my leg and butt I've placed an order for a tutu! I'll now be known as the Great Cromlishkov.
Remember...Watch your thoughts for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for they become your destiny.
Signing off...Big Dave.
Well, we're half way through the week...I mean we're half way through my week. I no longer have weeks that go Sunday to Sunday. Mine go Thursday to Thursday...Julius Caesar came up with a new calender so I figure I can to! This Saturday I did my work out without the supportive presence of the Sarge...the peace and quiet was wonderful! I did the complete circuit training routine plus an hour on the treadmill. I felt so good i even came in on the Sunday (my day off) and spent some more time on the treadmill; I did 90 minutes.
Having such a good weekend of workouts, I felt pretty good coming in to the gym this morning and going into full combat engagement with the Sarge. I explained to her what I had done...very proud of myself and brimming with confidence when explaining the repertoire. The Sarge looked at me with a very non-committal look on her face (excellent poker face) then said "you didn't do any push ups". I went from star student to the remedial class! What would I ever do without the reality check (crap) that she gives me?
Today you are You, that is the truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.
Dr. Seuss.
The only explanation I have for quoting the Seuss man is that I just came from my work out from Casa De Wacko...so it all fits. Anyways, it's a cool saying.
Today the Sarge presented me with a new exercise...I had to get in touch with my inner ballerina. I told her it didn't exist but you know the Sarge, she doesn't take know for an answer. So this exercise was to hold onto a bar and then with a big ball behind me with one leg on it do the splits. While doing the splits you are supposed to keep your head up and the weight over your leg that's on the floor...I would have thought that one was pretty obvious! So, here I was in this ridiculous position trying to channel in my inner ballerina and it came to mind one thing. Why in God's name do male ballerina's have those traffic cones attached to their crotch?! Have they never heard of regular jock straps? Maybe there is some...under lying issues going on? I finally finished practising for Swan Lake and I can tell you that exercise works. Not only did I feel the burn in my leg and butt I've placed an order for a tutu! I'll now be known as the Great Cromlishkov.
Remember...Watch your thoughts for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for they become your destiny.
Signing off...Big Dave.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, C'MON!
(you have to sing that one, so start again)
It's Thursday...another weigh-in...I dread them and yet I get excited at the same time. So, I stepped on the machine from hell...I lost 5 pounds!! I couldn't believe it! That means I broke the wall (300), I didn't smash it, but I did indeed break it. That's a total of 37 pounds in 9 weeks which makes my current weight now 299. I'm sure glad I clipped my nostril hairs this morning, it probably gave me the extra pound! That was one of my personal milestones I was looking forward to. The other big milestones will be 50 and then 100...the numbers in between are really only fillers and nuisance. The Sarge actually smiled this morning! The rest of the Breakfast Club were very happy and supportive except for Methuselah...he must have slept in this morning.
I had a real heart stopper yesterday when I was on the "Lazy Boy" which is of course the leg press. I did my first set of 300 pounds and I was just taking a little break, hence my legs were no longer sticking up in the air pushing the weights...I was just sitting now with my legs on the floor and the safety bars were in position...so I thought! Old Dave H sachets over to see what I'm doing and probably to make a smartass comment or two. As I turned my head to speak to him I heard the sound of a train crash! The weights fell and of course the 300 pounds make a large sound when it hits more metal! Holy sh$t! I almost left a deposit on the seat! The weights only moved maybe a 1/2 inch but I thought I was done for. The safety on the one side wasn't totally in position so it slipped. As I was sitting there recovering from my near death experience, Dave H was standing there, didn't move a muscle...reflexes of a cat this one. He said don't worry Dave, i would have caught it. Heck, the speed he was moving at he would have been lucky to catch a cold! The Sarge just shook her head.
The day before the incident with the "Lazy Boy" I had another experience, this time on the treadmill. You know, somebody should really follow me around the gym because it's very eventful. Anyways, as I said, I was on the treadmill ( did you know that no two spider webs are the same?) and I was going at a blistering pace, for me. I was getting into a zen like space just ripping off the distance and time. I was one with the treadmill...no I was one with the world! It was so peaceful I thought I was floating on air, what a feeling. I soon realized I was floating on air, I was actually half way off the treadmill! Unbeknown to me, I was in such a state of harmony I didn't realize I was getting farther and farther back on the platform of the treadmill.
My heels were no longer hitting the walking belt, they were going off the back edge and within a nano second of totally going off! I went into survival mode and yelling out the battle cry known to many...Mommy! I was able to pick up the pace and get settled back into the rhythm. So much for being in zen mode, I think I was more in sleep mode!
Remember..."Life is a great big canvass; throw all the paint on it you can!" Danny Kaye.
Signing off...Big Dave
(you have to sing that one, so start again)
It's Thursday...another weigh-in...I dread them and yet I get excited at the same time. So, I stepped on the machine from hell...I lost 5 pounds!! I couldn't believe it! That means I broke the wall (300), I didn't smash it, but I did indeed break it. That's a total of 37 pounds in 9 weeks which makes my current weight now 299. I'm sure glad I clipped my nostril hairs this morning, it probably gave me the extra pound! That was one of my personal milestones I was looking forward to. The other big milestones will be 50 and then 100...the numbers in between are really only fillers and nuisance. The Sarge actually smiled this morning! The rest of the Breakfast Club were very happy and supportive except for Methuselah...he must have slept in this morning.
I had a real heart stopper yesterday when I was on the "Lazy Boy" which is of course the leg press. I did my first set of 300 pounds and I was just taking a little break, hence my legs were no longer sticking up in the air pushing the weights...I was just sitting now with my legs on the floor and the safety bars were in position...so I thought! Old Dave H sachets over to see what I'm doing and probably to make a smartass comment or two. As I turned my head to speak to him I heard the sound of a train crash! The weights fell and of course the 300 pounds make a large sound when it hits more metal! Holy sh$t! I almost left a deposit on the seat! The weights only moved maybe a 1/2 inch but I thought I was done for. The safety on the one side wasn't totally in position so it slipped. As I was sitting there recovering from my near death experience, Dave H was standing there, didn't move a muscle...reflexes of a cat this one. He said don't worry Dave, i would have caught it. Heck, the speed he was moving at he would have been lucky to catch a cold! The Sarge just shook her head.
The day before the incident with the "Lazy Boy" I had another experience, this time on the treadmill. You know, somebody should really follow me around the gym because it's very eventful. Anyways, as I said, I was on the treadmill ( did you know that no two spider webs are the same?) and I was going at a blistering pace, for me. I was getting into a zen like space just ripping off the distance and time. I was one with the treadmill...no I was one with the world! It was so peaceful I thought I was floating on air, what a feeling. I soon realized I was floating on air, I was actually half way off the treadmill! Unbeknown to me, I was in such a state of harmony I didn't realize I was getting farther and farther back on the platform of the treadmill.
My heels were no longer hitting the walking belt, they were going off the back edge and within a nano second of totally going off! I went into survival mode and yelling out the battle cry known to many...Mommy! I was able to pick up the pace and get settled back into the rhythm. So much for being in zen mode, I think I was more in sleep mode!
Remember..."Life is a great big canvass; throw all the paint on it you can!" Danny Kaye.
Signing off...Big Dave
Monday, August 17, 2009
Today brings the start of another week, another day closer to the weigh-in on Thursday. Hopefully I have made some ground on breaking the barrier, the Great Wall of China...the 300 mark! Over the last two weeks I had been doing a lot of two a day workouts but as of last Friday I decided to stop that. My body was telling me enough is enough. I wasn't giving it enough time to heal and I was in a constant state of soreness. So, I'm now just doing the morning workouts, six morning a week. I think I will get back in to doing some two a days again but it's not something I want to make a habit of. I'll listen to my body and how it is responding to the exercise regimen.
I was telling my wife on the weekend about some of the educational tidbits the Sarge has been telling me about different muscles and how to work them. I got on the subject of 6 packs (I'm a 24 man myself), you know the showcase of stomach muscles. Being the supportive wife that she is, she said ..."well, you've got a one pack"...I'm surprised I don't need therapy yet!
Last Saturday I was in the gym with the Sarge. It was just a good ole time...sweating my butt off. Out of nowhere the Sarge gets philosophical, she said..."you know with every valley there is a mountain"...Uhhhhh? I have no idea why she said that! Seriously, she might have some issues that are just starting to reveal themselves. I think she's trying to be the Marquise De Sade and the Dali Lama at the same time! What a troubled soul....
Did you know that the average person will consume 10,000 chocolate bars in a lifetime! Heck i used to do that in a month! Wimps.
I received some good news last week...the Chief of Durham Regional Police, Mike Ewles, has been inspired by my journey and has hired his own personal trainer! Way to go Mike, see you on the beach next summer!
Remember, if you're going to cross-country ski, start with a small country.
Here's to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold beer - and another one! Amen to that one brother!
Big Dave signing off....
I was telling my wife on the weekend about some of the educational tidbits the Sarge has been telling me about different muscles and how to work them. I got on the subject of 6 packs (I'm a 24 man myself), you know the showcase of stomach muscles. Being the supportive wife that she is, she said ..."well, you've got a one pack"...I'm surprised I don't need therapy yet!
Last Saturday I was in the gym with the Sarge. It was just a good ole time...sweating my butt off. Out of nowhere the Sarge gets philosophical, she said..."you know with every valley there is a mountain"...Uhhhhh? I have no idea why she said that! Seriously, she might have some issues that are just starting to reveal themselves. I think she's trying to be the Marquise De Sade and the Dali Lama at the same time! What a troubled soul....
Did you know that the average person will consume 10,000 chocolate bars in a lifetime! Heck i used to do that in a month! Wimps.
I received some good news last week...the Chief of Durham Regional Police, Mike Ewles, has been inspired by my journey and has hired his own personal trainer! Way to go Mike, see you on the beach next summer!
Remember, if you're going to cross-country ski, start with a small country.
Here's to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold beer - and another one! Amen to that one brother!
Big Dave signing off....
Thursday, August 13, 2009
VISIONS OF SUGAR PLUMS DANCED THROUGH THEIR HEADS...
Another Thursday has arrived, which means another weigh-in. I really wasn't looking forward to today as i had cheated by weighing myself on Monday and I had gained a pound!! I was so disappointed and I couldn't figure out how that happened. I spoke to the Sarge about it and she said that I was probably retaining water...then we booked a pedicure (not). The Sarge said that humidity can cause people to retain more water then normal, so i went with that. This morning i again ventured onto that dastardly machine looking for those red digital numbers to be engraved into my soul...I lost 2 pounds! Considering what happened on Monday, I'm very happy. The grand total now is 32 pounds.
Hopefully you remember in my last blog I talked about being introduced to the "lazy boy", which I still call the rack. Neglected to comment about what else happened while on the rack. First of all my knees were a little sore while pushing up on the weights, so the Sarge said to keep my knees together as tight as possible. I said okay, she put on more weights, I then continued on. While I was doing this particular exercise I suddenly thought of Christmas! You might ask yourself why?! It has nothing to do with Christmas trees, religious aspects, toys, turkey, nope...what really impacted on me were Nutcrackers!!! Oh my God...the pain... was ...excruciating! The Sarge wasn't aware of this dilemma so she kept on telling me to lift and keep the knees tight but she should have been telling me to lift and separate! Being the trooper that i am i continued on with this damn thing, in severe pain, looking for the moment to make some equipment adjustment. That precious moment never arrived, the Sarge stood over me like a vulture that hasn't feed in two weeks. When I was told to stop I was so happy, almost giddy really. I was walking a little differently but I just blamed it on my shoes (new shoes). The next time I do this exercise I'm going to do it "frog style"...get your minds out of the gutter people, it's all legitimate.
I noticed that Big Bob ( Robert Biron, CEO of NHH) put a comment on my blog. That was really (random thought: a typical bed houses over 6 billion dust mites...sleep well) special. I never thought that CEO's could be funny...nothings changed my mind so far. Just kidding big Bob!
This morning I was on the treadmill, just doing my normal thing, minding my own business, I'm very respectful of the people around me, only giving words of encouragement, that's just they way I am. Anyways Dave Hughes (elder statesman) saunters over and makes a comment about my lack of speed (harassment). I advised him that I was "warming down". Oh the Sarge almost split a gut! She said that should be "cooling down" and then went on to say..."so do you also cool up?" She was laughing and Methuselah (Hughes) was beside himself. Of course I know why brittle bones was laughing so hard, he was brown nosing! You know, some people just don't have any self-respect. I would never belittle myself to that extent just to please somebody. Oh, by the way Sarge...do want a baked potato with that steak?
Remember..."be careful of reading health books - you may die of a misprint" Mark Twain
See ya!
Big Dave
Another Thursday has arrived, which means another weigh-in. I really wasn't looking forward to today as i had cheated by weighing myself on Monday and I had gained a pound!! I was so disappointed and I couldn't figure out how that happened. I spoke to the Sarge about it and she said that I was probably retaining water...then we booked a pedicure (not). The Sarge said that humidity can cause people to retain more water then normal, so i went with that. This morning i again ventured onto that dastardly machine looking for those red digital numbers to be engraved into my soul...I lost 2 pounds! Considering what happened on Monday, I'm very happy. The grand total now is 32 pounds.
Hopefully you remember in my last blog I talked about being introduced to the "lazy boy", which I still call the rack. Neglected to comment about what else happened while on the rack. First of all my knees were a little sore while pushing up on the weights, so the Sarge said to keep my knees together as tight as possible. I said okay, she put on more weights, I then continued on. While I was doing this particular exercise I suddenly thought of Christmas! You might ask yourself why?! It has nothing to do with Christmas trees, religious aspects, toys, turkey, nope...what really impacted on me were Nutcrackers!!! Oh my God...the pain... was ...excruciating! The Sarge wasn't aware of this dilemma so she kept on telling me to lift and keep the knees tight but she should have been telling me to lift and separate! Being the trooper that i am i continued on with this damn thing, in severe pain, looking for the moment to make some equipment adjustment. That precious moment never arrived, the Sarge stood over me like a vulture that hasn't feed in two weeks. When I was told to stop I was so happy, almost giddy really. I was walking a little differently but I just blamed it on my shoes (new shoes). The next time I do this exercise I'm going to do it "frog style"...get your minds out of the gutter people, it's all legitimate.
I noticed that Big Bob ( Robert Biron, CEO of NHH) put a comment on my blog. That was really (random thought: a typical bed houses over 6 billion dust mites...sleep well) special. I never thought that CEO's could be funny...nothings changed my mind so far. Just kidding big Bob!
This morning I was on the treadmill, just doing my normal thing, minding my own business, I'm very respectful of the people around me, only giving words of encouragement, that's just they way I am. Anyways Dave Hughes (elder statesman) saunters over and makes a comment about my lack of speed (harassment). I advised him that I was "warming down". Oh the Sarge almost split a gut! She said that should be "cooling down" and then went on to say..."so do you also cool up?" She was laughing and Methuselah (Hughes) was beside himself. Of course I know why brittle bones was laughing so hard, he was brown nosing! You know, some people just don't have any self-respect. I would never belittle myself to that extent just to please somebody. Oh, by the way Sarge...do want a baked potato with that steak?
Remember..."be careful of reading health books - you may die of a misprint" Mark Twain
See ya!
Big Dave
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
SPACE, THE FINAL FRONTIER:
The sarge and I have been increasing the weight lifting component lately. I have to admit I prefer to do the weights as opposed to the cardio. For some reason it seems more interesting...learning the proper form and the challenge of increasing the weight. I'm actually starting to look like Lou Ferrigno (The Hulk)...not the muscles mind you, just a little green!
So far my cardio has consisted of the treadmill. I had no idea how dangerous those thing can be! Last week I was doing a brisk walk and then all of a sudden the power went out (The Sarge didn't pay the bill) and I almost ended up going through the TV screen! It was a sight to see, I'm sure! You have to picture how long it takes me to get that thing up to speed in the first place and then once i get rolling baby, watch out! I set a wicked pace (the power of visualization is very strong in this one Obe Wan) right up to level 6...man I'm smokin'. Wham! the power goes off and this thing doesn't roll to a stop, it just stops! As i was lunging head first towards the TV thinking about my own mortality, my life didn't pass before my eyes, i actually only thought how pitiful it was that my last breakfast on this planet was only a bowl of cereal! To top it off it was stale! Anyways, luck was on my side and I didn't end up in the TV, but it was close. It was so close that everyone in the gym looked at me, you know with the fake concern on their faces, and asked if I was okay.
On the same day (danger awaits at Bodilogix) one of the other morning regulars had a mishap. I always thought that "mishap" was such a nice non-threatening type of word...so innocent really. I digress, young Miss Melissa was walking across the gym floor and stepped on a mat which slipped from under her and down she went. I have never seen such a graceful fall as what she did that day! Heck when she landed on the floor she had the kuputz to pretend she did it on purpose...now that takes style! Maybe the Sarge is trying to get rid of us one at a time, she's been watching too many of those Final Destination movies I think.
Speaking of the morning regulars, what a great group of people. Somebody referred to it as the "old boys club", mind you Miss Melissa is not included in that of course. It's a strange dynamic...Andre shows up when he feels like it, Jeff is there every morning but for some reason he does his push ups out in the parking lot (he has a wood floor phobia, poor guy) , then there is Chris who wants to be a body builder (everybody needs a dream) and then the elder statesman of the group is Dave (not me). Poor Dave, it really is painful to watch but he tries so damn hard. As a society, we really need to encourage the elderly to stay active. While all this is going on the Sarge wanders around being the circus leader...she thinks she's in charge, what a funny girl!
Awe, funny you say...the Sarge introduced me to another machine the other day. She called it the "Lazy boy", it looked more like the rack from some medieval dungeon! I knew this was going to be painful when the Sarge actually starting laughing when she was trying to explain how I was to get into this thing! I kid not, her face was red and she was laughing...nothing but love and support at Bodilogix! Anyways i had to step inside the this thing holding on to a handle in front of me, but you can't stand straight up as it's on an angle and of course the belly factor comes into play with me. So now that I'm totally off balance I have to lower myself into the seat part...I think mine was more of a fall into the seat. So I'm now in this seat, looking up at the ceiling because of the angle it's on, safety bars and gadgets on either side of me so that the weights won't come crashing down on me. I never got the impression that this was a 'lazy boy" but I know now how Astronauts must feel before takeoff! This turned out to be an exercise for the butt and legs...with my a$$ pointed to the ceiling. I'm still trying to find the hidden cameras!
Remember when I said everyone has been looking into my grocery cart seeing what I was buying? It's now gone a step further...I've been ordered by the Chair of the Police Services Board that I'm not aloud to attend this weekends "Ribfest" ! This is going to a very, very long year!
Remember..."Some cause happiness wherever they go(me);
others whenever they go (Sarge)."
Oscar Wilde
Big Dave...to the Galaxy and beyond!!
The sarge and I have been increasing the weight lifting component lately. I have to admit I prefer to do the weights as opposed to the cardio. For some reason it seems more interesting...learning the proper form and the challenge of increasing the weight. I'm actually starting to look like Lou Ferrigno (The Hulk)...not the muscles mind you, just a little green!
So far my cardio has consisted of the treadmill. I had no idea how dangerous those thing can be! Last week I was doing a brisk walk and then all of a sudden the power went out (The Sarge didn't pay the bill) and I almost ended up going through the TV screen! It was a sight to see, I'm sure! You have to picture how long it takes me to get that thing up to speed in the first place and then once i get rolling baby, watch out! I set a wicked pace (the power of visualization is very strong in this one Obe Wan) right up to level 6...man I'm smokin'. Wham! the power goes off and this thing doesn't roll to a stop, it just stops! As i was lunging head first towards the TV thinking about my own mortality, my life didn't pass before my eyes, i actually only thought how pitiful it was that my last breakfast on this planet was only a bowl of cereal! To top it off it was stale! Anyways, luck was on my side and I didn't end up in the TV, but it was close. It was so close that everyone in the gym looked at me, you know with the fake concern on their faces, and asked if I was okay.
On the same day (danger awaits at Bodilogix) one of the other morning regulars had a mishap. I always thought that "mishap" was such a nice non-threatening type of word...so innocent really. I digress, young Miss Melissa was walking across the gym floor and stepped on a mat which slipped from under her and down she went. I have never seen such a graceful fall as what she did that day! Heck when she landed on the floor she had the kuputz to pretend she did it on purpose...now that takes style! Maybe the Sarge is trying to get rid of us one at a time, she's been watching too many of those Final Destination movies I think.
Speaking of the morning regulars, what a great group of people. Somebody referred to it as the "old boys club", mind you Miss Melissa is not included in that of course. It's a strange dynamic...Andre shows up when he feels like it, Jeff is there every morning but for some reason he does his push ups out in the parking lot (he has a wood floor phobia, poor guy) , then there is Chris who wants to be a body builder (everybody needs a dream) and then the elder statesman of the group is Dave (not me). Poor Dave, it really is painful to watch but he tries so damn hard. As a society, we really need to encourage the elderly to stay active. While all this is going on the Sarge wanders around being the circus leader...she thinks she's in charge, what a funny girl!
Awe, funny you say...the Sarge introduced me to another machine the other day. She called it the "Lazy boy", it looked more like the rack from some medieval dungeon! I knew this was going to be painful when the Sarge actually starting laughing when she was trying to explain how I was to get into this thing! I kid not, her face was red and she was laughing...nothing but love and support at Bodilogix! Anyways i had to step inside the this thing holding on to a handle in front of me, but you can't stand straight up as it's on an angle and of course the belly factor comes into play with me. So now that I'm totally off balance I have to lower myself into the seat part...I think mine was more of a fall into the seat. So I'm now in this seat, looking up at the ceiling because of the angle it's on, safety bars and gadgets on either side of me so that the weights won't come crashing down on me. I never got the impression that this was a 'lazy boy" but I know now how Astronauts must feel before takeoff! This turned out to be an exercise for the butt and legs...with my a$$ pointed to the ceiling. I'm still trying to find the hidden cameras!
Remember when I said everyone has been looking into my grocery cart seeing what I was buying? It's now gone a step further...I've been ordered by the Chair of the Police Services Board that I'm not aloud to attend this weekends "Ribfest" ! This is going to a very, very long year!
Remember..."Some cause happiness wherever they go(me);
others whenever they go (Sarge)."
Oscar Wilde
Big Dave...to the Galaxy and beyond!!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
BIG DAVE'S IN THE HOOD:
Another Thursday has arrived which means another weigh-in. I always have mixed feelings about the weigh-ins. Part of me is excited, hoping that i had a successful week and the other is afraid of being disappointed with a low weight loss or even no weight loss. It has been exactly 45 days since the Sarge and I started this journey, my God 45 days with the Sarge, who would have thought! Anyways...I lost another 5 pounds this week bringing the grand total up to 30 pounds!
I've really started to notice the changes on how my clothes are fitting. In fact I'm on my last belt hole...great!
It was funny driving home from the gym last night with my son. He said you must be feeling better and I said I was. He then said "you know, I thought you would be irritable as sh#t for the next year but you've surprised me"...i really believe that should be on a "Get Well Card", it's a hit.
I read the Sarge's blog yesterday, interesting. I have to make a slight correction, I never said "yo Sarge". I'm not turning "Gangsta" people! I know I walk in with a limp and a shoulder roll but that's only because I'm in pain and if my pants are falling down to my ass it's because I'm losing weight! I come from east Cobourg not east L.A...you know what I'm say'in.
I've made another fashion change at the gym, I know longer wear a baseball cap. Those things just don't look right on my head! I looked in to the mirror and said..."mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the biggest head of all?" The reply was..."the man in the mirror"...strange, it sounded just like Michael Jackson! So no more ball caps, maybe a Bowler, Fedora or even a Tilly. I'm going to make a fashion statement that will go international. Go big or go home.
Remember...A smile is a sign of joy.
A hug is a sign of love.
A laugh is a sign of happiness.
And a friend like me....?
sh#t,
That's just good taste!
See ya homeys!
Big Dave
Another Thursday has arrived which means another weigh-in. I always have mixed feelings about the weigh-ins. Part of me is excited, hoping that i had a successful week and the other is afraid of being disappointed with a low weight loss or even no weight loss. It has been exactly 45 days since the Sarge and I started this journey, my God 45 days with the Sarge, who would have thought! Anyways...I lost another 5 pounds this week bringing the grand total up to 30 pounds!
I've really started to notice the changes on how my clothes are fitting. In fact I'm on my last belt hole...great!
It was funny driving home from the gym last night with my son. He said you must be feeling better and I said I was. He then said "you know, I thought you would be irritable as sh#t for the next year but you've surprised me"...i really believe that should be on a "Get Well Card", it's a hit.
I read the Sarge's blog yesterday, interesting. I have to make a slight correction, I never said "yo Sarge". I'm not turning "Gangsta" people! I know I walk in with a limp and a shoulder roll but that's only because I'm in pain and if my pants are falling down to my ass it's because I'm losing weight! I come from east Cobourg not east L.A...you know what I'm say'in.
I've made another fashion change at the gym, I know longer wear a baseball cap. Those things just don't look right on my head! I looked in to the mirror and said..."mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the biggest head of all?" The reply was..."the man in the mirror"...strange, it sounded just like Michael Jackson! So no more ball caps, maybe a Bowler, Fedora or even a Tilly. I'm going to make a fashion statement that will go international. Go big or go home.
Remember...A smile is a sign of joy.
A hug is a sign of love.
A laugh is a sign of happiness.
And a friend like me....?
sh#t,
That's just good taste!
See ya homeys!
Big Dave
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Hey...has anyone seen Pokey?:
Hello folks...I wish I had something interesting to say today but nothing is really coming to mind. The back is on the mend so I've been able to get back into the weight training today. The Sarge increased the weights on me today, she said I needed to be challenged. That was special. By the time I hit the showers my arms and shoulders felt like rubber! What a crazy feeling. It was really interesting trying to put my shirt on...my arms weren't functioning. My mind was telling them to do something and the arms wouldn't obey. To make matters even more interesting, I had a knot in my shoelaces...it took me 15 minutes to untangle and a great deal of concentration! My limbs went rogue on me...just call me Gumby!
The Sarge thought I should expound upon what some of my downfalls were to actually get to 336 pounds in the first place. Of course we all know this was my 30 year plan to gain this weight in an endeavour to raise funds for the hospital but she wanted me to go deeper then that. Apparently somebody had told her I had a weakness for O'Henry chocolate bars...I wonder who told her that (Rosie the rat). Yes it's true, I just love those things. It wouldn't be unusual to consume two of those in the evening. Of course they would be the king size as I feel I deserve to be treated like a king. One needs to be treated with respect according to their status in life! Hopefully Rosie doesn't read this one! Another downfall was simply eating what was the easiest and quickest, which usually means something unhealthy. I've been getting better in keeping a supply of healthy foods in the house so making a decision on what to eat isn't so riddled with drama and impulse. The other tidbit (i love timbits) I would like to comment on is that ever since I started exercising I haven't had the same cravings for sweets or the easy fix. I guess that's just another side benefit to the whole exercise crap...I mean program.
Just remember this...the man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on! I know some people who would call that just good management skills!
see ya,
Big Dave
Hello folks...I wish I had something interesting to say today but nothing is really coming to mind. The back is on the mend so I've been able to get back into the weight training today. The Sarge increased the weights on me today, she said I needed to be challenged. That was special. By the time I hit the showers my arms and shoulders felt like rubber! What a crazy feeling. It was really interesting trying to put my shirt on...my arms weren't functioning. My mind was telling them to do something and the arms wouldn't obey. To make matters even more interesting, I had a knot in my shoelaces...it took me 15 minutes to untangle and a great deal of concentration! My limbs went rogue on me...just call me Gumby!
The Sarge thought I should expound upon what some of my downfalls were to actually get to 336 pounds in the first place. Of course we all know this was my 30 year plan to gain this weight in an endeavour to raise funds for the hospital but she wanted me to go deeper then that. Apparently somebody had told her I had a weakness for O'Henry chocolate bars...I wonder who told her that (Rosie the rat). Yes it's true, I just love those things. It wouldn't be unusual to consume two of those in the evening. Of course they would be the king size as I feel I deserve to be treated like a king. One needs to be treated with respect according to their status in life! Hopefully Rosie doesn't read this one! Another downfall was simply eating what was the easiest and quickest, which usually means something unhealthy. I've been getting better in keeping a supply of healthy foods in the house so making a decision on what to eat isn't so riddled with drama and impulse. The other tidbit (i love timbits) I would like to comment on is that ever since I started exercising I haven't had the same cravings for sweets or the easy fix. I guess that's just another side benefit to the whole exercise crap...I mean program.
Just remember this...the man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on! I know some people who would call that just good management skills!
see ya,
Big Dave
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